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Behold, the Lord’s hand is not so short That it cannot save, Nor His ear so impaired That it cannot hear. (Isa 59:1)

This is another excellent testimony from the sister who encouraged us on June 16. NB—Xander Stok is the artist behind Project of Love. He tells how he was freed from severe depression and addictions, how he was born again, and how he now sets the Bible to beautiful music.

At the age of 17, Xander planned his suicide attempt in detail. He says, “Because of depression, you end up in isolation. You start living in your own world. I remember feeling alone and completely misunderstood at the time. I was standing near the shore, planning to end my life. Life became more and more difficult, and the only way out for me was to quit life.

I started swearing at God in the sky. I was so angry. I said, “You know I’m serious!” I had at least expected a choir of Angels or something. Nothing happened. “If this is it, you can keep it, God. I can't take it anymore.” At the last moment, a whisper came into my head, "If you're already dead, you might as well choose something you've always wanted to do. What would that be?” Then I thought: 'making music.' So, he postponed suicide and gave himself a year to learn music. He promised himself that if it turned out he was talented, then he would pursue music and see where all that ended up.

He was extremely talented and quickly formed a tremendously successful band – but fame had consequences and he found that he only lived ‘at night.’ Drugs, alcohol, rock ‘n roll, many women …! It all took its toll – e.g. it took him 8 sleeping pills just to get 4 hours of sleep a night! He knew he was living on borrowed time, and his mission was to be the best musician – ever! He states, “Literally, it felt like the devil was at my heels. I was never at peace and if you couldn’t keep up with me, then I’d leave you behind.”

20 years of rock 'n roll, addictions and severe depression followed. Until one day, during a really bad period of depression, God intervenes. Xander starts watching a Priest on YouTube who has done studies on near-death experiences, and as the Priest talked about God and Jesus, Xander became more and more uncomfortable. “So, I have a soul,” he thought “I wonder where that thing is going to end up? And if I have a soul, then the chances are there is an afterlife!” As he began thinking this through, a deep, dark depression came over him like a tsunami, he began cursing and screaming at God, and that night, with everything he had left within him, he tells us, “I somehow managed to kick all this blackness to God. “I can’t handle this,” I screamed. “You can have it all!” The minute I did that, I felt such a supernatural Peace come over me and free me. I knew there and then that my depression had left me, and I knew it was God because I couldn’t do any of this on my own!

I then began my walk with Papa God through Jesus, and haven’t suffered any depression since because Jesus is with me, like he said, “If you abide with me, then I’ll abide with you…” (John 15:17)

NB – The interview with Xander was quite long, so I’ve tried summarising it to make it fit here. View the fabulous interview here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QwHPeapy1c

As usual, I asked the Lord what He wanted to say, and He reminded me of this verse, “Call to me and I will answer you … (Jer 33:3)

“Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. Christ-conquerors are safe from Devil-death.” (Rev 2:11)